It's all very fattening; sorry I mean flaterring

English

I’ve been watching my favorite TV shows since I came back from Lebanon. And that of course includes all my favorite sitcoms; which I am not discussing here but the whole thing made me think of sitcoms in general and by association to a weird “fiction reality”.

Drop quiz for you:

• According to Jim
  
• King of Queens
• Still Standing

What do the male protagonists have in common?

a) Frequent ass-whooping by wife for acting dumb
b) Fat Belly
c) Sexy wife
d) All of the above
e) None of the above

Of course they also have crazy in-laws but that’s another story.


What I’m wondering about right now is why on earth it is always fat guys with sexy chicks? Most of these women have kids in the series (and in real life) and yet, they keep the bodies of a 20 year-old which hardly ever happen in reality where women get stuck in their everyday life and don't enjoy the luxury of personal trainers, personalized diets and surgical quick fixes.

And not only are these women gorgeous, they’re also smart.

On the other hand, hubbies are more, how to put it… Well chubby to say the least, and to add insult to injury, a little dumb too; in one word, the anti-hero.

Even cartoons have adopted this image of the “perfect” family: The Simpsons, Family Guy, and way before them The Flintstones (Oh my God, are they all modern remakes of The Flintstones?)

I watched The Invention of Lying on the plane on the way back to Dubai. It is based on this “gene pool” rule that attractive people fit with their gorgeous peers only. Of course again, these rules were established only to be shattered and the fat guy ends up with the runway model.

Obviously, I’m not saying that beauty is everything and that these guys don’t deserve such women.

What I’m wondering is why female protagonists on TV (and films) should always look stunning while guys can be slobs and yet get away with the perfect Barbie.

Why can’t unconventionally beautiful women get the perfect Ken?

Why should there always be pressure for women to look their best, to be fit, to be sexy and thin while it’s OK for men to be fat, lazy and even dumb… As long as they’re funny and kind-hearted of course.

Why isn’t there a funny, kind-hearted, lazy and fat woman married to some hot stuff?

There was Roseanne, a show that totally rocked by the way, but her husband, the excellent John Goodman was bigger than her, hardly a Ken (he probably ate Ken for breakfast) so that doesn’t really apply (side note: love both of them; great performers).

There also was Claude in Less Than Perfect which was called as such mainly because of her looks but she ended up losing all the weight and looking kind of perfect herself which beats the purpose. Plus, I haven’t watched all seasons, but in the episodes I did see, she was coupled with weird, funny looking guys. So there goes your “Ken” in flames again).

I guess there was still Betty out there but she never ends up with Daniel-looking boys (I haven’t seen all the seasons either but from what I've seen); she’s matched with equally goofy looking guys.

On the silver screen, even Shallow Hal which tried to project the concept of “beauty within” had the male protagonist looking more like Jim (According To Jim) or Doug (King of Queens) than Brad Pitt. They could have casted a Mc Steamy or a Mc Dreamy; instead they went for Georges (and I don’t mean Clooney). As if it were unconceivable Brad Pitt could ever be caught kissing a fat Gwyneth!

All very disturbing.
And annoying.

As a woman I am offended.

As a wife I am worried for my husband’s health if he ever was to think it was OK to carry 30 kilos of fat around his waist as long as he’s cute and funny!

As a prospective mother, I can’t even begin to imagine how I would explain these things to my daughter or how I would enlighten my son on beauty, what it means, how it is perceived and why he can’t objectify women and expect them to be airbrushed-Meagan-Foxes in real life while all he sees in the media contradicts that.

Again, very disturbing.

And kind of fattening.

Not the calorie kind of fattening; the self-esteem-mutilation-fattening kind. The best kind.

The God Complex

English

The God Complex... If you Googled the term, the first definition you'd get would probably be Wikipedia's, which redirects you to Narcissistic Personality Disorder; appropriate name considering the use of "disorder" in there. In lame terms, it means you're so full of yourself you think you could be God, or at the very least his vice-president (OK, let's not turn to blasphemy just to make a point).

We all know that ironically, doctors and surgeons in particular suffer from this disease, as one of my favorite shows states it so well:

Turk: Oh, come on, Carla, give me one good reason why you won't go out with me.

Carla: Well, you're a surgeon. So, you've got the god-complex, the cockiness, the whole "married to the job" thing. You're cute, but you're very, very aware of it. You have no idea what I'm like, so all of your feelings for me are coming from down there [points at his crotch].But most of all, I'm looking for the real thing; and you're nothing but a little boy who's not used to being told "no." So there's a bunch of reasons. Pick your favorite.

J.D.: I'd go with the "god-complex"...but it's hard to choose, you know, they're all so good.

Sure, to have the guts to cut someone open and believe you can put them back together without a glitch, you'd need fairly high self-confidence; so we can safely assume a doctor suffering from GC is probably a much better/safer option than a modest MD.

But what about geeks with GC syndrome?

What's up with geeks nowadays anyway?
They think they're so smart.
They think they own the virtual world and the real one by extension.
They think they own us for God's sake! (boy have I been using God's name a lot!!)

I should know.
Two of them live in the same house with me.
One of them sleeps in the same bed with me.

(OK, just to clarify because the above may sound weird and God knows what else to the dirty minds: the first geek is my brother and he lives with me and my husband who is none other than the proud second geek I mentioned. It is also crucial everyone understands the only nerd to share my bed is indeed my hubby...)

And every time I make the mistake to comment on one of their amazingly well thought and well said geeky dorky nerdy statements with an "Oh my God", both of them reply "Yes?"

Damn geeks!


OK fine. Steve Jobs can probably afford a superiority complex or two. So can Bill Gates although frankly, considering how fast Windows crashes, one would be more inclined to go find a big, deep hole somewhere in the middle of nowhere and just hide in it for the rest of eternity!

But let's not be bitter bitches; yes these people are self-made geniuses who managed to change the world as our parents knew it. Technological developments move so fast these days, the sweet bipping of a modem searching for a connection is now (Thank God! -- here I go calling your name again) an obsolete memory most if not all young people have never even heard of! (and by young I mean the under 30 cool peeps which I no longer belong to - deep-deep-extremely-deep-sigh)

So these geeks now, they just go around checking us out, searching our personal stuff, looking for something interesting to please their geeky eyes/ears/keyboards. They dissect us. They judge us. They lecture us. And yes, most of the times, they laugh at us!

So why do we put up with all that?

Let's face it:
What would our lives be without Facebook? or Google for that matter?! Oh Lord! A Googleless life! I don't even want to think about such a disastrous calamity!

(... Or we would call "friends" people we've actually met in person and actually like... And we would probably still be using these amazing huge encyclopedias and dictionaries I loved so much when I was a kid... But now that we've had a taste of the sin that is the Internet, we can never go back to the dark ages of typewriters -- and now those cute youngsters I mentioned before will be lost at the word "typewriter" wondering if that is some kind of new software used to develop fonts...)

Confession Time:
So let's admit it once and for all and face reality as it is, I do love the little buggers... I mean geeks... I married one, that's how much I love them.

And coming from an arts background, I've got to say that when it comes to GC, artists score far above anyone else on Narcissus' scale; so all things considered, I think I did good.

(wink at all geeks and artists out there -- we're just having fun)

Thank God (oh, here you are again!) nobody I know actually reads this or I would be friendless by now (or not, after all I'd still have my 500+ Facebook buddies) ;-)

. S H A R E . T H I S . P ✮ S T .

TravelOverdose

English ✮ Français

How do you know when you've been traveling too much?

My hubby keeps discovering new symptoms:

1. The airline attendants greet you by your first name when you step in the plane
   
   
2. Your favorite restaurant at the airport duty free knows your order by heart and starts preparing the food as you enter the room
   
   
3. The flight attendants ask you "where were you last week" when you miss your weekly flight
   
   
4. When you know which door will open at the arrival and even the cabin crew asks you about it
   
   Hubby takes the Dubai/Qatar Qatar/Dubai flights every week and knows to always book the last seat on the plane because unlike other flights, upon arrival, you exit from the back, although you've boarded the plane from the usual front door. It's not always the same crew on board and it so happened once that one of the attendants noticed upon landing that everyone was standing looking towards the front and waiting to get out while hubby had his back turned to everyone else and was standing in front of the back door; so she asked him "which door is opening?"
   
   
5. And the one I experienced myself just three days ago as we were on our way back to Dubai on the Doha flight which hubby takes religiously every single week:
   
   Not only have you seen all the movies and series but you know all the inflight entertainment program by heart
   
   Yes, hubby was sitting next to me, watching a program without his headphones on while I was quietly playing my sudoku (no headphones on my ears either, even my screen was off). Instead of leaving me alone, he started our own private dubbing of the program on his screen! Even letting me know in advance what was going to happen next... Mmmmh... Not the best screening ever!
   

✮✮✮✮

Comment savoir quand il grand temps de défaire sa valise?

Mon homme a une liste des symptômes:

1. Les hôtesses vous accueillent en vous appelant par votre prénom à l'embarquement
   
   
2. Les serveurs de votre restaurant favori à l'aéroport connaissent votre commande par cœur et les cuisiniers commencent à préparer vos plats avant même que vous ne commandiez
   
   
3. Les hôtesses vous demandent où vous étiez la semaine dernière quand vous sautez l'un de vos voyages hebdomadaires
   
   
4. Vous savez par quelle porte sortir de l'avion alors que même les hôtesses semblent perdues et vous demandent conseil
   
   Mon doux et tendre prend le vol Dubai/Qatar Qatar/Dubai chaque semaine et sait très bien qu'il est préférable de s'assoir au fond de l'avion car à l'arrivée, on sort par la dernière porte à l'arrière (alors qu'on embarque par la porte habituelle de devant), détail que même certain membres de l'équipage ne savent pas (ce ne sont pas les mêmes équipages qui prennent ce vol chaque semaine) et l'autre jour, après l'arrêt de l'avion, une hôtesse remarque que tout le monde est debout, tourné vers la porte d'entrée alors que mon homme est le seul debout dans l'autre sens devant la porte du fond; elle lui demande alors quelle porte prendre pour la sortie!
   
   
5. Et enfin, le dernier symptôme dont j'ai été moi-même témoin il y a de cela trois jours quand on rentrait de Qatar à Dubai par le même vol que chéri prend chaque semaine:
   
   Non seulement vous avez vu tous les films et séries télévisées à bord, mais vous connaissez tout le programme par cœur
   
   Oui, mon homme était assis à mes cotes et regardait une émission sans ses écouteurs pendant que je jouais à mon sudoku en silence (pas d'écouteurs pour moi non plus, de toute façon même mon écran était éteint). Au lieu de me laisser tranquille, il entama une session de doublage de l'émission qu'il regardait, a voix haute, avec commentaires et en incluant même ce qui allait se passer à l'avance! Mmmmh... Pas vraiment ma meilleure expérience cinématographique!
   

. S H A R E . T H I S . P ✮ S T .

Une touche de déco

Je suis une fanatique de Boston Legal, et de toutes les séries télévisées signées David E. Kelley d'ailleurs. Mais j'aime particulièrement les personnages de Boston Legal qui sont un mariage parfait entre le sérieux de The Practice et la folie totale d'Ally McBeal. L'amour (virtuel) de ma vie (télévisée), le fantasme de ma vie (imaginaire) c'est Alan Shore, l'avocat irrésistible qu'interprète à la perfection le talentueux James Spader.

À la fin de chaque épisode, Alan Shore et Denny Crane (interprété par le légendaire William Shatner) se retrouvent sur le balcon de leur bureau, assis sur deux canapés blanc et philosophent sur tout en fumant leur cigares.

Et bien Hadhoud et moi on recherchent ces canapés depuis la nuit des temps. Ou plutôt, on recherchait. Parceque je viens de les trouver aujourd'hui (merci Google!)

Et il s'avère que ce sont des chaises, et non pas des canapés, faites totalement en plastique! Le génie derrière ces œuvres c'est Philippe Starck, un designer français reconnu mondialement pour son art et ses décorations d'intérieur. Maintenant tout s'explique, monsieur Starck est un verseau ;-)

Nos chaises, ce sont les Bubble Club Armchairs (même le nom est génial):

Bonne nouvelle, les chaises sont disponibles à Dubai.

Mais elles sont tellement chères! Partout d'ailleurs, pas seulement ici... Deux chaises coûtent plus de mille dollars américains! C'est un peu beaucoup pour des chaises qu'on compte laisser sur le balcon toute l'année dans la poussière désertique de Dubai... :-(

In English?
Sure, why not?

I'm an addict for Boston Legal, and all of David E. Kelley's work for that matter. But I particularly adore Boston Legal's characters, they seem to be the perfect blend between the seriousness of The Practice and the total madness of Ally McBeal. The (virtual) love of my (televised) life; the fantasy of my (imaginary) life is Alan Shore, the irresistible lawyer played to perfection by the talented James Spader.

At the end of each episode, Alan Shore and Denny Crane (played by the legendary William Shatner) meet on their office balcony, sit on their white couches and philosophize about the world while smoking their cigars.

Well Hadhoud and I have been looking for those couches for ages! Or should I say HAD been looking. Because I just found them today (thank you Google!)

I've discovered that they are actually armchairs and not couches and that they're made entirely of plastic! The genius mind behind these wonders is Philippe Starck, a French designer recognized worldwide for his art. No wonder he's so amazing, he's an Aquarius ;-)

Our chairs are the Bubble Club Armchairs (even the name is great):

Good news, they are available in Dubai.

But they are so damn expensive! Everywhere, not only here... Two couches would cost us over a thousand US dollars! That's a bit much for chairs we'll be keeping on our balcony in sandy Dubai... :-(

. S H A R E . T H I S . P ✮ S T .

The name is Bond. James Bond. (NOT!)

I was never a Bond fan, but back in high school, my drama teacher who also ran the audiovisual club told us we should at least watch one Bond movie in our lifetime. It was back in the 90's so I figure GoldenEye must have been my introduction to her Majesty's secret services.

Since then I've watched many old and newer ones and there were some Bonds I like and others that bored me. But one thing is for sure, when it was announced that a new James Bond was born and that Daniel Craig was going to be his face... I was not impressed to say the least. I mean come on, he is blond for God's sakes!

And to quote one of new favorite characters on TV, Doug from Weeds (which we have been watching non-stop in accordance to our addictive lifestyle, and the four seasons are amazingly well-written with cliffhangers that leave you... well, hanging, waiting for and wanting some more):

"What grown man has blond hair?"

I couldn't have said it better! :-)
Merci Doug!

And in the case of Craig here, blond hair and blond eyelashes, and virtually invisible eyebrows??! And they kept focusing on his hairless face like it's some kind of sexy thing! OK, fine, the color of his eyes is beautiful (I am not sure it was not enhanced during post-production though) but apart from that, God, I want Sean Connery back!

So basically, no I did not run to the theater to watch Casino Royale or Quantum of Solace for that matter. But as I was sitting, idle and left hanging since the new Weeds season has not started yet, I decided to check movies I had at my fingertips... And Casino Royale appeared. Didn't feel like going through all the films, so I decided to watch.

Loved the opening credits (totally loved the theme song You Know My Name when it was released so that probably helped; a song which would have had so much more meaning when attached to the word "Bond"... Had it been a real Bond).



But then, the movie started.
Had to.
Obviously.
This is usually how it goes after the opening credits.

I didn't like the movie. Stopped a zillion times to go get water, pee, get water again and pee some more. My butt is usually stuck to the seat when I watch movies. But this time it just didn't catch.

So let's see... I think the best scene was probably when Bond was chasing the guy at the beginning of the film; the one he shoots at the embassy. The urban street jumping inspired chase is really well-done and catchy.



But following that, it just goes downhill.

I'm not really interested in Bond's fancy gadgets (although it's what it's all about right?), sports cars or naked sexy "Bond Girls" (again, what Bond's all about right?)... So I don't care much if there's no amazing special effects and sex scenes... But there should at least be a story! Otherwise, why bother?

Most of the film takes place in the casino when supposedly everything is being played. And nothing happens. Well bad guys show up. Bond kills them (although they are not the real bad guys he's after)... Then he gets poisoned. Is miraculously healed (courtesy of the only gadget we see) and then nothing... Nothing major. OK, fine. The seemingly good guys turn out to be bad guys at the end... So? That's no surprise. It's kind of a recurrent theme in movies, now isn't it?


Bottom line: Not impressed.


Should I go ahead and watch Quantum of Solace?


We can always make ourselves feel better and enjoy a good song (and forget that we've wasted two hours and half watching... nothing!) :

Chris Cornell - You Know My Name
Uploaded by Pacotosman -

. S H A R E . T H I S . P ✮ S T .

What lasts forever...

I was just watching Brothers & Sisters and heard the most touching words! Well touching for me of course, it hit close to home.

Background: Kitty has been trying to get pregnant in any way medically possible, in vain. Her husband is proposing to move on to other options like adoption or a surrogate mother and Kitty feels like she can't let go of this need to be pregnant. She goes and visit her sister Sarah and they talk about it. She remembers an incident that took place when Sarah was 7 months pregnant:

Kitty: I remember touching your stomach when we went back to my apartment and - Cooper was practically doing somersaults. And I just thought, how weird, and how beautiful. Now, I don't know how I'm supposed to stop wanting that.

Sarah: Kitty, you remember the somersaults. I remember the heartburn. You know what Cooper remembers? Nothing. There are no guarantees. In the end, the only thing that matters is that there's a child. And that lasts forever.

Beautiful.

Taken from GrossesseEnBlog.

. S H A R E . T H I S . P ✮ S T .

Geek is the new Cool ... Nerd is the new Sexy ... Whatever!

We often ditch regular TV for marathons of our favorite shows.

We did that with Entourage a while ago (still waiting for the new season coming up soon); we also did that with 30 Rock (hilarious!!) and How I met Your Mother... It had all started with 24 and Heroes but I stopped watching these a while ago and now only hubby and Loume are still following these two. (Anyway...)

Which brings us to our current addiction:
The Big Bang Theory

It is a hilarious script from the creator of Two And A Half Men about four geeky geniuses in Physics who work at a university and their hot blond neighbor, who is none other than Kaley Cuoco from 8 Simple Rules.

So i cannot really tell you about the show... Don't like to ruin these things. But I can always give you a preview of the very first episode:



UPDATE:

It was brought to my attention that I forgot to mention one of the many, and yet essential addictions which is still going on up until today (SHAME ON ME; I AM BEGGING FOR FORGIVENESS):

THE OFFICE.

There.
Done.
Now I can go to bed.

. S H A R E . T H I S . P ✮ S T .

Scrubs' Gay Baby Test :-)

I was just watching this and had to YouTube it :-) Just check the baby's moves!! Awesome!! LOOOL

Les pigeons

Ma petite sœur chérie vient d'écrire un billet sur les pigeons parisiens et les malheurs qu'ils lui causent. Alors forcément, moi, ça m'inspire tout ça.

Mon blog, il commence bien à ressembler à un habitat pour les oiseaux avec Twitter un peu partout, et maintenant, les pigeons.

Bon, Twitter il est quand même bleu (ma couleur préférée) et il est tout mimi donc ça va... Par contre les pigeons, beurk!

Est-ce que les oiseaux sont un mauvais présage? Parceque là ça va quand même en faire beaucoup des oiseaux!

En plus du billet de ma sœur et de Twitter je viens de voir un épisode de Grey's Anatomy intitulé Kung Fu Fighting dans lequel Izzie assiste Hahn en bloc opératoire: elles doivent opérer un patient du cœur alors qu'il est conscient parcequ'il est allergique à l'anesthésie. Et ce patient, et bien c'est un "bird watcher"; un amateur d'oiseaux qui non seulement les observe mais arrive même à associer leurs caractéristiques aux humains autour de lui (pendant l'opération, l'homme panique en voyant tous les médecins dans la salle d'observation et Izzie le convainc que c'est tout à fait le contraire et que c'est lui qui observe tout ce beau monde animal). Et bien entendu, je vous ai trouvé la vidéo; merci YouTube :-)

Pas la plus extraordinaire scène de la série mais bon... LES OISEAUX QUOI!! C'était bien ça le sujet non?

Alors? Trois histoires d'oiseaux en une seule nuit... En une seule heure même! On dit bien "un oiseau de mauvais augure" non?... Je dois m'inquiéter? C'est pas très clair tout ça, comme présage on fait mieux, mais bon. On s'en tiendra à ça.

Bonne nuit!

"We're not murderers; plastic surgeons have a bad enough image problem as it is"

I've never watched Nip/Tuck but I've heard a lot about it.

I've been at my parents' house for the past 20 days and they get FOX SERIES. I took the habit of checking it as I zap through the channels although they've just started and are still on Season 1 of stuff we've already watched (like ER, Desperate Housewives, CSI Miami, etc.)

I noticed that they were showing Nip/Tuck and I was curious to check it out but since I don't have FOX SERIES at home, and I don't like to start with a program from the middle especially if I can't finish it; I refrained from watching altogether.

However, the other day I was watching TV and zapping randomly and fell on an episode of Nip/Tuck so I watched for a little while.

I didn't get a thing because the episode had already started for some time but two events really made me laugh my a$ off:

1) Apparently, some criminal had requested a new face (literally) from the plastic surgeons who agreed. It was obvious that this agreement was not smooth as the "bad guy" threatened that one of his men would stay in the OR and would kill the surgeons should the latter attempt to kill him during surgery (Trust is nice!). So one of the surgeons says:

"We're not murderers; plastic surgeons have a bad enough image problem as it is"

TOTALLY LOVED IT!! :-)

And I found it, just for you :-) enjoy!

2) This same surgeons' wife or girlfriend (I don't know) is in labor and he is the one delivering the baby in the OR. So he is the first to take the baby "out" and hold him. At first we just see the doctor's face and it looks like there's something weird going on down "there"... Then he holds the baby up close to his face... And the baby is black. Not that there's anything wrong with black babies, only both parents are... you guessed... white.

The situation itself is not so funny, but the doctor's face as he holds the baby was priceless! It was hilarious!