Sunday, May 31, 2009

The name is Bond. James Bond. (NOT!)

I was never a Bond fan, but back in high school, my drama teacher who also ran the audiovisual club told us we should at least watch one Bond movie in our lifetime. It was back in the 90's so I figure GoldenEye must have been my introduction to her Majesty's secret services.

Since then I've watched many old and newer ones and there were some Bonds I like and others that bored me. But one thing is for sure, when it was announced that a new James Bond was born and that Daniel Craig was going to be his face... I was not impressed to say the least. I mean come on, he is blond for God's sakes!

And to quote one of new favorite characters on TV, Doug from Weeds (which we have been watching non-stop in accordance to our addictive lifestyle, and the four seasons are amazingly well-written with cliffhangers that leave you... well, hanging, waiting for and wanting some more):

"What grown man has blond hair?"

I couldn't have said it better! :-)
Merci Doug!

And in the case of Craig here, blond hair and blond eyelashes, and virtually invisible eyebrows??! And they kept focusing on his hairless face like it's some kind of sexy thing! OK, fine, the color of his eyes is beautiful (I am not sure it was not enhanced during post-production though) but apart from that, God, I want Sean Connery back!

So basically, no I did not run to the theater to watch Casino Royale or Quantum of Solace for that matter. But as I was sitting, idle and left hanging since the new Weeds season has not started yet, I decided to check movies I had at my fingertips... And Casino Royale appeared. Didn't feel like going through all the films, so I decided to watch.

Loved the opening credits (totally loved the theme song You Know My Name when it was released so that probably helped; a song which would have had so much more meaning when attached to the word "Bond"... Had it been a real Bond).

But then, the movie started.
Had to.
This is usually how it goes after the opening credits.

I didn't like the movie. Stopped a zillion times to go get water, pee, get water again and pee some more. My butt is usually stuck to the seat when I watch movies. But this time it just didn't catch.

So let's see... I think the best scene was probably when Bond was chasing the guy at the beginning of the film; the one he shoots at the embassy. The urban street jumping inspired chase is really well-done and catchy.

But following that, it just goes downhill.

I'm not really interested in Bond's fancy gadgets (although it's what it's all about right?), sports cars or naked sexy "Bond Girls" (again, what Bond's all about right?)... So I don't care much if there's no amazing special effects and sex scenes... But there should at least be a story! Otherwise, why bother?

Most of the film takes place in the casino when supposedly everything is being played. And nothing happens. Well bad guys show up. Bond kills them (although they are not the real bad guys he's after)... Then he gets poisoned. Is miraculously healed (courtesy of the only gadget we see) and then nothing... Nothing major. OK, fine. The seemingly good guys turn out to be bad guys at the end... So? That's no surprise. It's kind of a recurrent theme in movies, now isn't it?

Bottom line: Not impressed.

Should I go ahead and watch Quantum of Solace?

We can always make ourselves feel better and enjoy a good song (and forget that we've wasted two hours and half watching... nothing!) :

. S H A R E . T H I S . P ✮ S T .


L'épice said...

bon, puisque vous y tenez!!

Daniel Craig is the best James Bond eveeeer!!! il est trop hot!!! trop top-mega-sexy!! et pour s'en rendre compte, il fallait voir Casino Royal au ciné, avec un Daniel en grand, en beau, en musclé, en ensanglanté... enfin un James bond qui se fait mal, qui transpire, qui est parfois sadique (hinhinhin!!) et qui ne joue pas au sex symbol!! le film allait vite, les effets secondaires étaient nickel, il y avaient tout plein de rebondissements...

bon, vous êtes pas convaincus, je le sais. :p

mais alors, ne regardez surtout pas "Quantum of Solace" parce que comparé à "Casino Royal", c'est de la big mierda!

~♪ bl✮g ♫~ said...

Bon alors sur petit écran, ou sur grand écran, je vois pas la différence... Ah si peut-être que sur grand écran, ses sourcils seraient un peu plus visibles? mmmh... Et je suis même pas sure de ça!

Tous les James Bonds ont toujours été "top-méga-sexy", "trop hot", "beaux", "musclés" et "ensanglantés"... Ils se sont tous "fait mal" et je me rappelle bien d'un Pierce Brosnan "sadique" (just for the record, he is not my favorite Bond either)...

Pour ce qui en ait du sex-symbol, tu dit ça comme si c'était un crime!! C'est bien de James Bond dont tu parles, non? De 007? Ah OK... :-P (je sais je suis méchante :-P)

Le film était trop lent dans le casino... Et la scène qui aurait du durer plus longtemps, celle ou il y a un peu d'action et un échange malin de rhétorique, la scène de la torture, est trop courte, comme si coupée en plein milieu! La seule scène bien faite, bien éditée avec un bon rythme, c'était la première poursuite.

Et bien voila, tu l'avoues toi-même, ces nouveaux Bond sont à chier... Si chaque film est pire que son précédent... :-P

J'aurais jamais cru qu'après un James Bond, je demanderais des gadgets ou des effets spéciaux ou même des poursuites en voitures de sport super cools et truquées... Mais si, si *moi* qui déteste ces trucs, je me suis aperçue que ça manquait, alors là... Bein parceque c'était pas Bond... Voila. :-P

Convaincue? :-P

We have to agree to disagree on that one, I guess :-P

L'épice said...

complètement d'accord avec toi: on ne sera pas d'accord sur ce film ;)