Saturday, February 20, 2010

High Up In The Air...


This one goes to @RaniaSassine
I’m dedicating this post so she finally grabs a bite :)

Going on a hunger strike if @abouzeid does not post one of her great articles. You have 24hrs ma cocotte and I mean it!!!!!
7:22 PM Feb 18th

@abouzeid Tic Toc Tic Toc Tic....
about 11 hours ago

On a side note, and because I’m quoting Twitter; here’s an anecdote for you:
ONLY IN … MY FAMILY would we tweet, chat, email each other even if we’re sitting in the same room and could easily just… Talk. Yep, it’s happened before between hubby and I sitting alone in our living room, couch-potating, just surfing the web when suddenly he decides to send me an email to ask for a rather mundane thing like dinner or something. Yes. True story. Today, I tweeted that I had to get off Twitter and run to the supermarket because my fridge was empty as I hadn’t shopped for food since I came back from Lebanon . Well it was brought to my attention that I shared my plans with the whole Twittersphere before informing my family. My brother who was in the same room just bluntly asked: “Thank God for Twitter so we know what you’re up to. You’re going to the supermarket? Get me some hot dogs with you.” Note to self: Do not broadcast trips of any kind on the web; people will ask for favors (:P)

Well I’m not sure it’s a “great” article Rania, but a girl’s gotta eat and I’m starting to feel a little bit woozy myself just thinking of you fasting for so long! So there you go!

I watched Up In The Air. Love Georgie boy :)

The general storyline is really relevant to what’s happening today pretty much all around the globe, and the actual story is also pertinent to human nature. It’s got characters with a history and something to tell. The cast is excellent. The script is good; in many instances poignant, in others funny; but mostly real. The soundtrack is great. And best of all, it’s got a brilliant genuine ending; they didn’t Hollywood us or any shit like that.

Basically the movie makes you think about your priorities. What you want in life vs. what you need. What’s important vs. what’s valuable. Life. How you define it. How you live it. What it means to exist while knowing this existence is only so meaningful because it has an expiry date. What matters.

Success. Professional achievements. Goals.

And it got me thinking…

I really hate it when people say life is meaningless unless you get married, have children and finally get “this” purpose for being there. Existing is only valuable if you are living for your children.

And don’t get me started on the ridiculous assumption that your legacy is alive through their mere existence (ridiculous because obviously children grow up to become their own person and they don’t really care about being a legacy, they’d rather worry about accomplishing their own).

I’ve even heard flabbergasting statements (solemnly declared as “truth”) from educated people, women and men, affirming their (biological) children are their true achievement and by achievement they mean happiness. Adopting is not the same. And they almost always have the nerve to conclude with a patronizing “you’ll understand when you have your own kids”. This coming from people who obviously have never adopted anyone which of course makes them experts on the subject. Who better to judge adoption than those who have never experienced it?

I am married. I guess I’m on the “right track”.
(nauseating thoughts of conformity to be inserted here)

I am definitely not married because society says I should be in order to fulfill some happiness definition. Anyway, I think most girls get married for the wedding only and “looking so beautiful in their white dress”. I didn’t go through the whole wedding thing. Ditched the wedding, jumped right into the marriage; isn’t it what you’re getting stuck with after the party? Should have opted for the white dress though, would have made lovely photos.

Anyway, I did attend a wedding or two though and I simply can’t understand why people spend so much money on festivities that guests will most definitely criticize (they always find something to gossip about and don’t even have the decency to wait until they’re back home) and disgusting catering (even at the finest hotels/restaurants).

Why not just gather your family and close friends and celebrate your love (yes, that’s the purpose of this whole thing) with those (and only those) who truly care for you? But I digress.

So yes, I’m not big on conventionality.
Still married though (for different reasons).
Still childless too (Oh rage, Oh désespoir, my life is meaningless and my husband and I have no purpose to exist – off I go to look for a bridge and jump).

So what if I weren’t married?
What if I were to never have children?
Would it mean I’d be this miserable failure of a human being who couldn’t find her way?

I’ve got single friends.
They are outstanding individuals.
They have amazing careers.
And they’re brilliant women (and men, but I can't compare myself to single men, although they would make for a fascinating study in our region).

Their mothers still dream of marrying them (because they love them, truly) and they’re afraid their beloved daughters will grow old alone, childless and miserable. The worst.

Their fathers still worry about reputation and honor (because single women are always easy to point at).

And their friends might feel sorry for them (because it always makes you feel good when it seems others are more miserable than you).

I, for one, completely love these failures. And I admire these women for achieving so much when faced with that constant look of superiority or pity or whatever arrogance others think they have the right to display.

(I know that look all too well; I’m childless remember? After five years of marriage, needless to say I fall in the "failures" category)

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not claiming loneliness doesn’t exist or even that being alone isn’t sad sometimes.

Husbands. Children.
That’s all good.

But basically it all boils down to one thing: love.

To love. And to be loved.
That’s all that matters.
Who’s doing the loving is not really an issue.

I think that’s why these women are still successful and happy and unwilling to compromise and marry the first guy who comes to “save” them from their “failed single life”. Sure, society keeps trying to guilt them and sometimes even they doubt themselves.

But at the end of the day they know who they are.
They know who loves them. And they know who they love.
And that’s why their life has meaning.
That’s why they have succeeded.
And that’s why when/if they ever choose to get married and have children, they will do so not because society says they should; but… Well, for the right reasons.

Yes, all that because of Up In The Air! Ah, inspiration! :P
And maybe also because of the godforsaken hour at which I’m writing this (it’s 4am Dubai time)


L'épice said...

Ok, je note:
we shouldn't spend too much money on festivities... we should just gather friends and family and party together...
ça me va! :p

PS: very nice post, sister! ;)

PS2: je twitt pas, mais j'existe! :o

PS3: nan, nan, je suis pas jalouse...

PS4: mais j'aurais bine besoin de choco pour (re)faire de délicieux muffins!!

PS5: c'est toi qui est jalouse, là? ou pas encore??? :p


~♪ bl✮g ♫~ said...

Oui oui, note. Je sais bien que ça te va, je pensais à toi en écrivant ce paragraphe :P In any case, one thing remains clear: share your love & celebrate it with those who love you... i.e. your sister who really really wants to make up for not wearing a white dress and look good in pictures, dressed in rose bonbon or lime green (isn't it how maids of honor dress so that the bride stands out as the most beautiful woman to ever walk the face of the earth?)

PS: merci ♥

PS2: si Descartes était vivant, il ne serait vraiment pas d'accord

PS3: ouais ouais

PS4: et bein TOC! maman m'a refilé un gros bloc, ou plutôt une dalle!! mais c'est pas pour moi en fait, c'est pour loume et sa fontaine de chocolat :P

PS5: "c'est toi qui est jalouse, là? ou pas encore??? :p"

♥ biz'♥