Sunday, January 31, 2010

F***ing Good Morning to You Too!

English


Last night hubby flew back to Dubai for a couple of days before heading to China for a good two weeks. I'm not going to nag about his business trips and how we're never together anymore. This is not the topic of this post. I just had to mention this detail because his flight was at 3am so we stayed up until 1:30am when he drove to the airport (it's just 7min away by car, no traffic); and then I couldn't sleep until the plane took off (air catastrophes aside, I just do that every time someone travels). Bottom line, I wasn't asleep before 4am.

Late night fantasy of "grasse matinée"

I thought it was all OK because I would sleep late today; after all it's what Sundays are for, right?

But our great leaders had other plans for me and so this beautiful day started on high note.

We live two steps away from the Bristol Hotel which is a favorite location for our delightful politicians to organize parties and whatnot.

People familiar with the Bristol area will tell you parking's a bitch (pardon my French) and none of the buildings which were designed sometime around the 80's have underground parkings. So the entire neighborhood parks on the sides of the streets.

As mentioned earlier, today is Sunday and most families in my building only, let alone the entire neighborhood, have already left to the mountains since yesterday. Most of these families own two cars but use only one on weekends. Which means that the remaining car is nicely parked on the side of the street since Friday night.

And this fatalistic morning...

My sunshiny wake up call today? The police blasted through their microphones for people to remove their cars on both sides of the road! Apparently our national security heroes are very afraid someone might have left a bomb or something targeted at one of our (I'll say it again) delightful politicians.

First of all: If you're so damn scared of what your own people might do to you, you need to start wondering what you've done to them to make them that angry

Secondly: If you're so damn scared of public places, why don't you hold your little parties in a less urban location? There are hotels everywhere in our tourist-friendly Lebanon. Do you have to do your thing in the middle of Beirut, in its most crowded area between Hamra and Verdun? Streets are crowded with cars. You don't like it, move. We definitely won't mind having not to bear the weight of your oh-so-damn-annoying presence!

Secondly (bis): If you're so damn scared of public places (I have another option for this one) why don't you hold your little parties in one of your mansions? All of you delightful politicians have big houses with 24hrs a day power supply. And if you're so keen on securing the location, yours are already fortresses! The streets (and their surroundings) you live on are more than secured , as if you owned Lebanon's public roads and sidewalks. So why bother securing an entirely new area when you've already got checkpoints around your homes and we common citizens have to go through your insulting staff every time we must pass by?

Thirdly: Even if every car owner was in town and could move their cars, where would they park them? It works the other way around too: Even if there were available golden parking spots somewhere, all the cars owners are not in town!!

My two cents

I'm no security expert but I've got some fairly acceptable managerial skills so I'll venture and advise our (again, can't help myself) delightful politicians and their amazingly qualified staff the following:

IF YOU WANT THE STREETS TO BE EMPTY ANY DAY OF THE WEEK AND PARTICULARLY ON A SUNDAY

DO YOUR JOB AND WARN PEOPLE A FEW DAYS AHEAD OF TIME!
(how difficult was that to think of?)

OK, YOU CAN'T THINK THAT FAR, FINE. HOW ABOUT WARNING THE PEOPLE THE DAY BEFORE THEN
(is that one also impossible?)


If you expect the citizens who were silly enough to vote for you to do their part, how about you start by doing yours?

Today is going to be grand!
I can feel it.

The sirens haven't stopped yet as if clearing the roads was some kind of medical emergency. The idiot behind the microphone is still shouting at people as if they were common criminals (I mean come on, who would park their car in front of their own building?) and he was doing society some big favor. (And they wonder why we hate them?!)

And I am fairly certain that even when the roads will be clear (and most of the neighbors will have to go pick their cars up from the impound) the sirens will not stop.

La Morale Monsieur Lafontaine?

Basically we scream "democracy" and "republic" during elections campaigns.

Then we actually throw away all that crap, enforce "feudalism", crown ourselves Lords (if not Kings or even Emperors) and treat the so-called citizens like serfs.

Finally, the common people (or "serfs" for those who haven't been following) can enjoy the GREATNESS of FREEDOM by reelecting us again, and again, and again, and again, and again (and if/when we die, elect our children) again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and... Until eternity.

A Freaking Good Morning to You Too!

2 comments:

L'épice said...

wow! ça commence fort!!
Courage courage!
and, just because I know you: stay at home, ok?! don't go down to shout at them because this could cause you (or dad, actually :p) lots of trouble!! ;)

writing/talking/telling about all this shit might be our only option left...

when will people finnally wake up??!! ouh la la... i'm sooooo pessimistic on this issue...

~♪ bl✮g ♫~ said...

LOL! Don't worry, Papa n'était pas là ce matin; il est sorti beaucoup plus tôt ;)