Boys & Girls

English

I'm not what you would call a naive, innocent little girl.

I grew up in France, saw more in my neighborhood public high school than a Lebanese retired narc officer (OK, that may be an exaggeration, but you get my meaning) and I was the only girl in my sixth grade class that had yet to make out with a guy (what? I'm no prude but I'm a romantic-to-the-bone dreamer who spent her high school years fantasizing about her forever love; high school boys don't really fit the profile).

I am a firm believer in cohabitation; I think it's so very important to know the person you plan to spend the rest of your life with. And by "know" I mean really, truly understand their strengths, their joys, their loves, their pains, their weaknesses and most of all, their annoying little things. And understand that when two people get married, they commit to the person and all of the above as one single package; unconditionally.

Because as much as I believe in cohabitation, I believe even more in human nature. And I know from personal (modest) experience that people cannot change drastically. So if you think you can get hitched and say, well, I'll make him/her change "that thing" after we're married, think again.

You can immediately know what you're willing to compromise and live with and what you won't ever be able to stand. So why put yourself (and your partner) through hell by naively thinking you can achieve what so many others have failed at before?

Grow up. Man up. And do what you have to do before tying the knot!

I also know I'm a very difficult person. My values are very much black and white (to my loved ones' despair) and I do not ever stand, accept or even understand lack of ethics (personal or professional), decency or respect; which has been a hassle to manage at work and elsewhere.

Tolerance is a very important value, and I do appreciate it when it supports ethical positions. Tolerating racism, fanaticism, meanness, cruelty, disrespect, bigotry, and all that crap is not tolerance. It's bullshit.

But all in all, I'm a fairly open-minded gal.
I don't judge.
And I genuinely believe that people are free to make their own choices (freedom which entails the responsibility of living with the consequences of these choices afterwards).

But some choices I have a hard time understanding (not judging though). And it shocks me to find myself feeling, well, naive (to say the least).

After all the progress we've made and all the work that still remains to be done for Lebanese women to finally enjoy basic equal rights with men within our so very patriarchal society, I can't help but be deeply disappointed when I hear some stories.
As I was walking by a very well-known café in Hamra I saw a friend of mine, X. sitting there with another guy I know and a girl. She looked like any other regular 20-something girl and I assumed she could have been X.'s new girlfriend because of their proximity at the table and the fact that she answered his phone. I found out later that she was just a friend; well an extremely trusting friend apparently. She had bluntly asked X. to get her... Clients. As a good friend, she trusts him to be her pimp!

If that's not friendship, then I don't know what is!

And apparently she's not the only one. Another friend of his told him that she easily makes 400 US Dollars a night and her clients include well-known politicians (old enough to be her dad). This one on the other hand didn't need any help acquiring new "projects"; she was just sharing how she manages her expenses.

X. had previously helped a third friend who just graduated as a journalist, land a job at a prominent Arab media group. She later decided to drop the whole thing and pursue other... Options. Options which are getting her a brand new car, and even her parents seem to be benefiting from her newly found career (don't they wonder where the high income's coming from at her age?) career which I am sure is unknown to them. I guess that when you're in need and cash starts pouring in, you don't really bother asking too many questions (or do you?) and believe any explanation blindly; even as concerned parents...

All these girls say that sleeping with men they don't love is not such a big deal. They really don't think about it that much. It's not about love after all.

And I remember me, at their age, still fantasizing about my forever one! God!

What saddens me deeply is that these are young, bright girls with an education and life ahead of them. Fresh graduates who seemed to be so focused and excited about pursuing a successful career in the media industry. Making a name for themselves. Being one of the few women to achieve so much in a field ruled mostly by men in the Arab world.

I guess shopping, cruising town in cool cars and being able to afford going out every night of the week was too good a deal to pass.

Girls are not the only ones pimping themselves.

And sometimes, in a perverted way, the pimping is not even for financial gain. Some aim at marrying. Others aim at marrying rich. Most (maybe?) aim at marrying beautiful. Young people aiming so high, everywhere around us.

The song below is so funny and yet so sad when you think it is so damn real. It is in Lebanese dialect. By a Lebanese university student. About Lebanese university students. Enjoy it. I wish I could include the credits but I got it by email without any detail.

If anyone knows who made that track, please let me know.
Thanks!

--✮--

I'm very happy to update this post with some links from the talented Michelle Keserwany who left a comment here. Many of those who left messages on Twitter will be glad to discover the pages below:

JAGUAL el USEK group on Facebook
Michelle Keserwany on Facebook

Money-making Tragedies & Peeping-Tom Reporting

English

Watching Lebanese TV these days is literally nauseating.

Some channels have specialized in creating music videos they use as fillers in between programs and which are nothing more than cheap montages of families in pain, crying, mourning, screaming, fainting over tacky classical music (music we now know by heart; we have enough tragedies a year to sustain the entire classical music industry, if there were one in Lebanon).

Even the news have turned into cheesy, emotions-hyped videos!

Journalists are no longer interested in reporting facts, they're looking for sensational images to edit and rearrange in (tragic) short movies. We should hold Awards for those Filmmaking-Journalists... Or Journalists turned filmmakers? The difference is no longer visible and nobody cares anymore anyway.

As the minister of health replied in a very reasonable manner to all the questions (and sensational speculations) thrown at him during the press conference that followed flight 409's tragic crash a few days ago; reporters on location at the crash site and in hospitals played their cards quite well with the common citizens to get whatever they could not retrieve from politically correct interviewees.

It felt as if the goal was not to gather information on current developments, but rather get the most atrocious and shocking answers.

I can remember two interviews in particular:

1. N.S. at the hospital speaking to the Red Cross in-charge following the minister's press conference. When asked if there were any remains of ripped bodies, the minister insisted that there was no need for such graphic descriptions at this point in time. The main concern was the rescue efforts which is what anyone should be focusing on when speaking to the Red Cross. Supposedly. Instead, NS's interview cleverly extracted graphic information worthy of any respectable horror movie: the rescue team had found the body of a child; the body was headless. Promptly after the interviewee left, NS made sure to mention the body in question was that of a boy. I couldn't help but feel so damn betrayed! This poor child had no right to privacy, even in death. His family, relatives and/or friends were probably watching and I cannot even begin to imagine what their reactions could have been especially when initial reports confirmed there were only two children on board, precisely a boy and girl. There was no need to reveal a name, the mere fact of revealing it was a "child" was enough, let alone specifying a gender!
   
   
2. S.E.H. at the beach speaking to citizens who live nearby. This must have been the most ridiculous and laughable interview I've ever seen in my entire life. And I've seen a lot, in the media industry at least. I'm no journalist. And I'm no genius. But at least, if I were ever to produce an interview, especially on live TV, I would most definitely make sure to speak to the interviewees, give them clear questions and get clear answers before going on air. It was very obvious that such basic (and not at all time-consuming) prepping was never done! She had a man in front of her who was speaking about the bad weather and the sea during a storm. Had it been a scientific assessment from an expert, it would have been fine. Instead it was just a poor guy with limited education (no offense intended, I promise, but this transpired very clearly as he spoke). Since he had a hard time expressing himself (and answering the questions) his friend who was off camera suddenly interrupted and started answering, placing himself very nicely in front of the camera. Very quickly a third friend of the previous two also appeared and started giving his views on the rescue situation (which they were not a part of). In the meantime, the first guy got on his cel-phone looking at the camera, speaking loudly and laughing (apparently someone was watching, recognized him and called). Back in the newsroom, the anchor obviously felt like the entire conversation was useless and tried to shift the report towards a more journalistic direction and asked if there was any official rescue team on location such as the red cross or the army. Instead of picking up the pieces and ending the report on a smart note, the reporter replied with strong confidence that these citizens have lived all their life near the beach, know the sea in and out and are experts in retrieving drowning bodies and corpses! Yes, yes, your eyes are not betraying you! These citizens are experts in retrieving corpses!! From the sea!! Because they live near the beach!! Aha. Ok. If you say so.
   

These are just two of the examples we've had the privilege to watch these past days from our very professional TV stations.

I don't mean to pick on anyone but they were just reports that drove me insane! As do the maddening classical-music-drama-horror-awardwinning-movies!


Fine. I may be a little cranky.
I could have let it go.

But I feel so sad for this profession.
The watchdogs of society are not doing society any good anymore!

What is their role nowadays?
Producing sensational movies?
Or searching for the truth and reporting facts?


As a citizen who relies on news reporters to do their job, I feel betrayed. I look for news and get sensationalism and gossips!

As a person who feels strongly about human rights, privacy and respect, I feel ashamed for the victims' families who are being used and abused for ratings and whatnot.

Audiences are not peeping toms, so stop putting us in these situations!
(Damn reality TV and all the crap it made possible/acceptable)

We do not enjoy watching the most intimate moments of a person in distress. As we do not appreciate when our sorrow is broadcasted everywhere when we are in distress. And I am fairly certain the journalists themselves would not appreciate it either if it happened to them or their loved ones.


I'm going to stop thinking about these useless actions.

My last thought goes to the families of the victims, praying for all of the lost souls to rest in peace...

Gaza, Iraq, Haiti, ET409 on my mind

English

2010 started on strong notes.
Not very high though.
Strong, very low notes.


First Haiti's tragedy which was an explosion of terror, sadness and pain. Explosion because terror, sadness and pain have been there all along, in so many places. But when it suddenly bursts with a 7-something magnitude on Richter, then it gets the attention of the world, attention it most definitely deserves, there's no denying that.


Terror, sadness and pain, anywhere & everywhere.


Palestine and Gaza always under the radar and always under attack. This time, no Richter-worthy explosions there. Israelis learned their lesson. If they want to keep annihilating Palestinians, they need to do so quietly. Any media attention can only lead to bad publicity, bad publicity they don't need right now. They're barely recovering from the PR consequences of their last genocidal campaign. Irony of all ironies, while continuously and proudly marching on the Palestinian bodies they're leaving behind, Israelis have decided to show compassion in Haiti. Good PR is always welcome. There's no business like show-business, is there?

(Wishing for some natural disaster in Palestine, and hopefully some worldwide compassion until all pain, terror and sadness are resolved? Maybe? Who knows... Who cares?)


Terror, sadness and pain, anywhere & everywhere.


Yesterday, there was ET409. The tragedy happened very early in the morning, while we were all nicely tucked in bed. Comfortable. Dreaming maybe? Some witnessed an explosion over the sea. Some heard it loud and clear. Most of us woke up to the aftermath. Tragic end to too many lives who all had to take that flight to survive their daily needs and ended up not surviving at all. Lebanese and Ethiopians forced to travel too far away from their homes and their loved ones to provide for their families and sustain themselves. Lebanese going back to work. Ethiopians going back home (most of them, if not all, finally flying back home after - ironically? - surviving horrifying working conditions, slavery, abuse and sometimes more). Only to find death. And in the most atrocious and ridiculous way. At least in Gaza and all of Palestine, if they die, it's to protect their land, their children, their loved ones. Their deaths are not void. They are proud. When they die, they leave this Earth fighting for justice and what's right. But a plane crash? How so very sick!


Terror, sadness and pain, anywhere & everywhere.


I'm a bit depressed as I watch the news but today all the TV stations resumed their normal programs. The state of media urgency is off now. Updates are provided on a need to know basis, should some media-worthy development suddenly occur. It looks like life is back on its normal track, except maybe for this bitter taste left in our mouths for whatever bizarre reason.

--

Thinking of the crash victims. Hoping they didn't feel any pain (and fear).

Thinking of their families. Praying they can survive what seems to be far more insuperable than the crash itself.

Thinking of the dreams and hopes all the passengers carried in their hearts. Lebanese, Ethiopians and others who worked hard to earn an honorable and proud living. Most of them enduring horrifying working conditions. All of them missing their families, children, parents.

Thinking of Gaza. Hoping for Palestine. Praying for all those who suffer and pay the highest of prices for justice and honor.

Thinking of Haiti. Hoping for the best (the weather doesn't seem to care though, and it looks like more catastrophes are on the way). Praying help will come on time and will be enough (is it ever?).

--

When I see all the horror natural disasters or tragic accidents bring; horror we could not control; horror we sometimes could not foresee; I am disgusted human beings can still find it in their hearts (forget their minds, they're obviously mad) to cause more pain; intentional horror and torture caused by man-made wars.

Insane sadistic murderers who hide behind Press Conferences and the political correctness of "collateral damage"!

How can it be unintentional?
Don't we all know what the consequences of war are?
You start a war, you cause deaths.
Collateral damage?!
What a nice way to say: legalized mass murders.

--

May the souls be blessed & May they rest in peace.