Sunday, July 9, 2017

Winter Girl Looks For Summer Purpose

I was born right in the middle of winter. I’m not sure if this has anything to do with my utter aversion to summer but one thing is certain: I hate it. 

I cannot stand to be in the sun, heat drives me insane and I am disgusted with the feeling of being hot and sweaty and sticky human skin. I have never enjoyed the beach or the pool and the idea of spending hours in scorching heat just to get a tan revolts me. (Yes, I know, what better place to live in than Dubai?) 

I begin to stress and nag before the season starts, just thinking of what is to come. 

And even though I am in cool Ehden right now, where the clouds are literally underneath us, I still find it difficult to enjoy my time. It is not hot nor humid and a lovely fog has been visiting us for the past few days which makes my heart smile. But still, I cannot bring myself to be content with the blessings of spending the season 1500m above sea level.

So I decided to look for reasons. A sense of Summer Purpose if you will.

Every time I am in Lebanon, I stumble upon objects from the past which make me smile. An old diary. Photographs. Books. Cassettes. They take me back to a place of serenity and calmness. If I want to be honest with myself, they were anything but calm when I lived them. But I guess, looking back, they seem quite peaceful (thank you selective memory)

However, I will attempt to find new, current reasons to enjoy (read: tolerate) my summer. Romanticizing the past will not shorter my days nor bring more fun. The whole process might make the present even more depressing.

Since very few things seem to work these days, I should probably stick to a simple exercise. Maybe find one good, positive summer attribute for each of my senses. Come on, I can find five little things right?  

So, here we go:

Summer Purpose through the senses

That one is quite easy. Our home overlooks one of the most stunning views in Ehden. The clouds are literally underneath us and the sunset is breathtaking every single evening. The moon sits rights in front of our swing and if we tilt our heads a little, the stars are almost at hand's reach.

Source: IG

I guess I could mention the crickets or the sounds of happy people celebrating weddings near us but I guess my most favorite sounds are those of Mia and Jad laughing their hearts out in the garden. They are so small and the little things makes them happy. And this alone blesses my soul.

Source: IG

My mom's cooking, real kebbe and home-made sahlab. My dad bringing us kaak from Abou Arab every week on his way from Beirut. All of those but maybe also the iconic mshabeshle or even Salem's Arabic ice cream? Or is it biscuits with raha? So many delicious treats that I can only find here. This is not helping at all. I am still struggling with my diet so I probably should have skipped that entire part...

Source: IG
Source: IG

Source: IG

Source: IG

Source: IG

The other day I woke up to smell of freshly made sahlab and I swear I was in heaven for a few minutes. I just love it and even though I have made it a few times in Dubai, there is nothing like having a fresh cup in the garden, looking at the mountains and taking deep breaths of crisp air. (Looks like I am back on food. Great).

Source: IG

Well that is a tough one considering the husband is not in town. (mwahahahaha)! I guess this is a constant in my life: holding my kids' tiny hands while they sleep. Thank God, they are still small enough to let me do it. They keep growing bigger and somehow, when I hold their little fingers, they seem so tiny. They give me so much warmth and in that moment I can actually see the immensity of my own love. I never thought a heart could expand so much but it does. Bigger than the universe and more.

Baby Mia & Mamma Mia

Baby Jad & Mamma Mia+Jad

Tiny humans. Giant love. 

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